Open letter from Esther, victim of ongoing sadistic ritual abuse
– to its perpetrators -
As an illustration of the desperate situation in which Esther and other victims find themselves, you can read the open letter she wrote to her perpetrators below. As her therapist, I have been intensively involved in her intense struggle for the past three years to break free from their stranglehold. In the past months she has been daily put under extreme pressure to return to the cult by, among other things, cars that followed her with flashing lights, men who hung around in front of the window at her work and at my practice and who used finger- and eye signals to pass on threatening messages. I witnessed some of these incidents myself. In addition, on several occasions, cult members managed to break into her work place, threaten and rape her, among other things by posing as handymen. This on top of the barrage of torture photos and threatening messages my client received, as well as myself and other members of her network. Going to the police with this is for many reasons not (yet) an option for her. One of these is the fact that she has been made a co-perpetrator in many ways, and there are photos of this. She indicates that she has been used to kidnap children and commit murders, both in cult gatherings and in the affiliated crime network. Last Thursday I accompanied Esther by telephone from her work, as I often do for safety reasons. Suddenly I heard 'nooooo' after which the telephone connection was broken. In the two years that I regularly accompany her home by telephone, this has never happened before. I feared never to see her again and took the necessary actions, within the agreed limits. After 20 minutes, to my relief, I got in touch again. She told me that she was standing at the traffic light when one of her perpetrators got into the back of her car, put a knife to her throat and forced her to drive to a remote parking place. What happened there can be read in the attached letter. Very surprising is the role of the police, who saved her without knowing. Half an hour later I found her on the parking lot, totally distraught and trembling all over, and I saw the imprint of the knife in her neck. All kinds of body parts had been mutilated as well. For her it is clear that the cult/crime network gives up their attempts to withdraw her, but only wants her dead. She knows too much and is therefore a danger to them. She has sent them this open letter, hoping that her statement will put an end to their relentless, exhausting manhunt.
Aline Terpstra, GZ-psycholoog BIG, beginning of December 2020
Last week, December 3rd, was that day. The day I dreaded every day, tried to avoid every day. With drivers who sometimes rode along. Always someone on the phone on the way. House full of cameras. Hoping this would be enough protection. But the day came anyway.
One time I forgot to lock the car, just one time. Past all the dangerous points and almost on the highway and yet.... you managed to get into my car and with a knife at my throat force me to drive to a remote place. The fact that I've been drilled to listen for over 35 years doesn't help, of course, and without saying a word you squeezed out my phone companion, who helps me get home safely time and time again. No more help, no more safety, at your mercy. You, my nightmare in my dreams and my daily life, you and all your friends are my nightmare. For 7 years I've been trying to fight every day to break free from your grip.
You say you're going to kill me. Usually you call me a slut or a whore and rape me, shove pills down my throat and let me go. But this time it was different. You hadn't been able to get a hold of me for months and because I was telling others about you and your so-called friends, about your satanic practices and deeds, your plans changed.
As you carve triggers into my body with a knife, pushing your hand into me and wanting to slice me open inside, my even worse enemies show up. The police.
You get scared and jump out of the car and tell them you're leaving already, as if you wanted to get laid on a parking lot, but I get scared too because cops are my worst nightmare too. You, I'll call you you, but you stand for that whole fucking group, because you made me believe that they are even meaner and worse than you and those experiences are still deeply engraved in my memory. I get dressed while you finish what you have to say and I try to get back to the front seat and quickly put my thumb up. I smile friendly to the cop who looks at me again as if everything is okay and he takes it. It's not until that cop walks away that I believe he's not bad. And you're gone. I want to shout at the cop, come back, but my fear is too great, I don't do it.
When my telephonic attendant arrives, because I can't drive anymore, the other car arrives. I recognize it. The clean-up crew. You really wanted to kill me. You wanted to make my car disappear, like I have seen before and had to cooperate with other renegades, now you would do the same to me and my car with your friends. Son of a bitch.
If only I could be happy and consider it a victory, but you know, you have again broken my life a little more. My confidence and security was a little bit back and it's been destroyed again. When are you going to strike again? What can I do to have a life like normal people? Or is that an illusion, a dream I've had for over 35 years, but will never come true!
Whether you wanted me dead or not, it doesn't really matter. Not anymore you don't. As of today, you are releasing me. Names and events you protect at all costs are in places you don't know about. Nobody knows all these places, including me and the people who help me.
If you had taken my life on Thursday, everything would have been on the table. Names, dates, also everything I, partly because of your orders and under compulsion have done with everything, so that missing persons and murders could be solved. You know where that would end. Not with one of your assistants or yourself, but with the ones you're afraid of. I'm sure that's not what you want. I was raised against my will in your vast cult and crime world from birth.
So herewith, dear sadistic torturers, former allies and former co-assassins who have made my life hell for over 35 years. It's done. You leave me alone, I will not share the secrets when it comes to names and pictures with people you would like to bring to justice, but only if you leave me alone.
If something is done to me or people around me, even if you kill me, everything is on the table with both the media and trusted politicians and police. This is the one and only promise I make to you.
From today we start again. You live the life you choose, and I live mine, in freedom with Jeshua by my side.