The story of Jessie

I grew up in a family where alcoholism was in the foreground. Psychological problems that were drunk away. A problem that was visible to doctors and institutions.

What was not visible was the deep darkness behind it. There was no safe place within the family, but the misery went much further than that.

In the period of 4-6 years, I was taken to places of which most people still do not know the existence. A place of literal and figurative deep darkness. A place where satan was worshipped in all his horror. A place where I had no voice, was not allowed to be heard. Not to cry, not to scream in pain .... Rituals in which people were raped, tortured, sacrificed .... Babies and children who were not supposed to exist - who were born there so that nobody would miss them - were tortured and murdered in a horrible way. And this is still happening worldwide!

We were told not to talk, on pain of horrible death (of friends, loved ones and ourselves). To instil further fear, we were tortured, had electricity pumped through our bodies, were drowned and revived, and an endless list of other ways. Even that liberating death was taken away from us. Locked up in (dog) cages, not allowed to make any noise, under penalty of electric current.

We were also told that we would not be believed anyway. Present were police, doctors, social workers, pastors ... all layers of the population. So you would never know where you could safely talk because anyone could be one of them. And the punishment was terrible.

Programming by causing intense fear, repeated messages with the aim of increasing fear, isolation (nobody can be trusted, you are not safe anywhere, you are responsible for the suffering and death of others etc etc).

Now, decades later, I am finally learning to live instead of survive.

I have sought and found my recovery in Jesus Christ, Yeshua. It has been a very long road, but a road to Life. I have found freedom, I have broken through fears, I have found my voice again, but above all: HOPE. Without Yeshua I literally would not be alive, He showed me the way to Life. I call Him expressly Yeshua, why? Because in the cult people are used who are represented as god the father or jesus. These people - in the capacity of so called god the father and jesus - stand around laughing when horrible things are done to you - or do it themselves. So that you think they are involved. But the opposite is true. It is a lie!!! Father God, I call him Abba, and Jesus Christ - Yeshua are not involved and are the only way out of this to find recovery.

Prayer is key in this, that the truth about Abba and Yeshua will be heard, that the bonds of darkness will be broken, for divine protection. To come out of this is an enormous spiritual battle and Satan does not give up his spoils easily. In my way out, I too have literally taken the steps to end my life several times. But there were people who prayed and fought for me so that Abba had the last word over my life.

I am endlessly grateful to those people who have fought for and with me.

Will you pray with me for all those who are still in it or finding their way out? It is literally a matter of life and death!

Thank you